October 16, 2017 Rivalry or Reconciliation?
I grew up in a big family. There were ten of us kids and I was the seventh born. So I had older brothers and sisters and I had younger brothers and sisters. Growing up in a big family we had our share of fights and disagreements. We were competitive and we fought hard to stay on top. Today, however, I think that is all behind us...at least I hope it is.
Is it simply a sign of "growing up" or is there more to it than that? I think there is more to it. Like the stories of Jacob and Esau and Joseph and his brothers, reconciliation comes when we are able to see the face of God in one another. The older I get, the easier that is to do.
Each of my siblings in their own way shines the light of Christ. We are far from a perfect family...yet most of the time we are able to look beyond one another's faults to find the good that is in each one of us. It makes those childhood dramas seem a little silly.
Another piece of all this comes from Engage Activity 6. As I reflected on that it struck me how often I know I need the joy of being forgiven. When someone asks me how I can be a good confessor, I tell them that it is because I'm a good sinner. I know how much I need the forgiveness of God and others. And it is in that need for forgiveness, that I get any grace I have to be a good confessor.
Pope John XXIII was once asked how to get along with someone you disagree with in the Church and he said this: "See everything. Overlook a lot; correct a little." I try, even to this day, to do that in my family of origin, in the larger (universal) Church family, and in my own parish family. To not do so, is to often miss the face of God.
When i was doing my undergraduate work one of my professors had us each do a genogram, going back as far as we could in our family tree. We were not looking for connection as much as looking for patterns of behavior that got passed along from one generation to the next. You used different symbols for various things such as addiction, conflict,depression, etc. The symbol for conflict was a lightnengbbolt. I knew my mother would be surrounded by lightning bolts,but I Was shocked to see that my beloved grandmother who I thought could do no wrong was also surrounded by lightning bolts. As I traced that pattern back through generations i recognized the tendency in myself to live in conflicting situations within my family. My question to my teacher was how do you stop the pattern? Her answer: just being aware can help you recognize the pattern. I can't say I'm lightning bolt free but I do know getting along and making peace is a priority for me in my family.
ReplyDeleteI not a person that regularly holds grudges. I don't necessarily compete with others although I do like the challenges that come from competition. I'm not easily offended, either.
ReplyDeleteWhat I do seem to recall and remember is when people appear to do the wrong thing disregarding the impact of their actions on others.
I forgive but don't forget. And in not forgetting, I don't necessarily give more chances.
When reading the different stories, I think I would have not held grudges to those that did me wrong, but I'm not sure I would have responded with gifts and sustenance.
There are 2 things that caught my attention in this week's readings and lesson.
#1 - Abraham's following orders blindly.
While we know it was common to do human sacrifices, I'm not sure how I would have reacted if God tells me I need to offer my child, who was given to me at an old age, in sacrifice.
That's an explicit meaning to "what God gives, He takes away."
I wonder if Abraham changed his mind at the last minute and always had the animal in his "back pocket". :)
#2 - Jacob's struggle.
McLaren writes on page 33, end of 2nd paragraph, "Like Jacob, we agonize through the long night, held in a headlock by despair, fearing that's too late for us to hope for a new beginning."
This sentence connected because some days I wonder the same. There are certain habits I'm looking to replace that I seem to not be able to address. I want to start over but somehow time passes by and no progress seems to be made.
Intellectually, I know there's always time for a new beginning; emotionally, is a different story.
Every day is a new beginning. That's what death and resurrection teaches us.
DeleteJuan,
DeleteI have discovered that God "nudges." Those little things that keep popping into my mind or those things that never leave my mind. Before I was finally ordained I was in and out of seminary twice. When I was out of seminary that nudging was always there.
I've learned to listen to the nudges, but to do so with as much wisdom as possible.
you've mentioned the possibility of moving into life coaching...the wisdom part would seem to be getting started while maintaining your full time gig. Start with a few clients and see how it feels.
Move...but move slowly...might help with the emotional struggle as well.