Chapter 42: Spirit of Love: Loving God

When I used to teach high school seniors I would inevitably have a student tell me. I don't believe in God. I would always say, "Tell me about the God you don't believe in." In other words, I would want to hear from them their understanding of God. Often times in the conversation I would then say, "Well if that is the God you know---then I wouldn't believe in that God either." That almost always led to a good discussion.
     I like the process McLaren offers in this chapter and I'd like to take you through some reflections I have had through the years on the various stages of that process (although I wouldn't have called them that at the time.)
     Step One: Showing up. My life changed when my spiritual director challenged me to spend a half an hour in prayer each day. My life changed when I joined my Priest's Support Group and I began meeting regularly with some guys who help keep me honest with who I am and who God is. My life changed when I began going to Sr. Mildred, my spiritual director of the first several years of my priesthood (until her health prevented her from doing it any more). My life changed when I began spending Tuesday afternoons (as many as I can) with my small faith group at my current parish. My life changed when I began going to adoration more often. All of these are times that I simply "showed up" to allow God to work in my life.
     Step Two: Appreciation. I love it in my life when I meet someone who helps me to see God a little differently than i had before. One example of this was a guy named "Taz." Taz had a unique way of preaching the message of God in such a way that it opened God up to me in new and different ways. I came to appreciate God more after hearing Taz preach. David Wells is another person like that for me. Listening to him all these years at Congress and then having him come her for our Mission allows me to delve a little deeper into the mystery ff God.
    Step Three: Cultivate Honor and Respect for God. I can remember Sr. Barbara Fiand saying in a seminary class that God is nothing...And then she would add God is no thing. It was a hard concept for me to grasp and sometimes still is. God is not any of the things we try to make God out to be...those things McLaren rattled off at the beginning of this chapter: angry old man with the white beard, curator of a religious museum, or testy border guard...God is no thing. God is so much beyond our imagining...and yet we need to have some ideas about who God is in order to cultivate that honor and respect. And so we look to Jesus and we find God is compassion. We look to Jesus and find that God is beyond the rules. We look to Jesus and find that God is different from what we often imagine. We look to the Holy Spirit and find that God moves us in ways we couldn't have imagined. We look to the Spirit and find that God is infinitely patient as we learn the same lessons over and over again. We look to the Spirit and find that God never gives up on us as we get it wrong so often. That is a God that I can honor and respect.
     Step Four: Learning to say I'm sorry. There have been so many times in my life when I have really messed up. There still are. I love the Sacrament of Reconciliation because of that. How often I need to say, "God...it's me. I did it again." or "God it's me. I need your help."
     Learning to love god is a life-long process. I hope I am better at it today that I was 10 years ago. I hope that I'll be even better tomorrow. It's like the 1970's pop hit: "I love you more today than yesterday, but not at much as tomorrow.