May 28, 2018 Chapter 41 Moving with the Spirit

     I love the first line of this chapter: "The wind can be blowing, but if your sail isn't raised, you won't go far."
    The other day I heard a talk by Dr. Edward Sri, a theologian at the Augustine Institute in Denver, Colorado. He was speaking about Pope Francis and his Apostolic Exhortation: The Joy of the Gospel. And he reminded me of a story that I had almost forgotten about. Early on in his pontificate, Pope Francis was asked this question, "Who is Jorge Bergolio?" Pope Francis thought for a moment and said, "I am a sinner on whom the Lord has cast his gaze." Later he expounded on that a little bit more. He said he was always captivated by a painting that was titled: The Call of St. Matthew. In the painting, he explains, the Lord has locked eyes with Matthew and invited the tax collector to follow him. Matthew looks bewildered perhaps thinking, "I'm an enemy of my people. I work for the Roman government. People despise me. Why would you call me?" and yet he is captivated by the gaze of Jesus...Matthew still has one hand on his money bag...thinking of all that he will have to give up to follow Jesus...yet he is captivated by Jesus...but afraid to give up what he has...captivated by Jesus and yet afraid to give up what he has..."I am a sinner on whom the Lord has cast his gaze."
     When he expounded on that answer, Pope Francis, I think, spoke for all of us who are at times mesmerized by the winds...but still afraid to raise our sails. It is so much easier to simply go with the flow...to do your own thing...to lessen the Christian calling to anything less than the radical giving of one's total self. It is easy still for me to think of a thousand reasons why I can't be the kind of priest God calls me to be, why our parish can't be the kind of parish our God calls us to be. It is easy to focus so much on our weakness (I am a sinner...) that we forget about what we can do when we follow the one who first called us (on whom the Lord has cast his gaze).
     My prayer this week is that I'll find a way to follow Jesus more fully each day.